Operation Abduct Orly – The Middle of the End (the first bit)

Meanwhile…..

Joders watches Anners disappear inside the hotel suite on the 5th floor then turns and hurries back through the Orly’s Saviours suite and out into the hallway where she finds herself standing stupidly outside of Whorely’s and the dingo’s suite.

She tries the door handle again, but it is still locked.  She knows that even in her Saviour suit she won’t be able to knock the door down.  In her frustration she kicks the door with the pointy toe of her stiletto boot.

Joders:  (holding her foot and hopping up and down on one leg)  Phuck!  My toe!  I think I broke my toe!  Goddamit, I wish I was inside that bloody suite.

Mid hop, Joders disappears.  And magically reappears inside of Whorely’s hotel room where she lands gracefully on one foot.

Joders:  Anners is gonna be really shitted off when I tell I her about that.

Joders looks around the suite.  The dingo is nowhere to be seen.  Joders finds Whorely laying spreadeagled on the bed, his wrists bound to the head of the bed, his ankles bound to the foot.  He is unconscious.

Joders gasps in shock.

Joders:  Huuuuuhhhhh! (or however a gasp looks in written form)

A sound from the sitting area alerts Joders to the presence of the dingo.  Sure enough she is standing in the lounge room in the Victoria’s Secret stance.

Dingo:  Itt tooke u lohng enuf.  Eye thort u weer nevver goeng tu gett heer.

Joders:  If you’d have had the common courtesy to leave the door unlocked I’d have been here an hour ago.

Dingo:  Eye nevver thourt aboute thatt.  Sorrie.

Joders:  No biggie.

Dingo:  Wheer r the othurs?  Hav thay desertted u?

Joders:  No, I sent them after your dingo friends and Clay Aiken.  I know everything dingo lips.  I know all about GISELEB, I know about the herbal anaesthetic you’ve been using, I know that you’ve been using this stuff on Whorely and I know that if your fauxmance is revealed to the world, you’ll be a laughing stock and you’ll never be famous and you’ll never take over the world.  See?  I know all there is to know.

Dingo:  (laughs out loud – her laugh is not suprisingly not musical at all)  Ha, ur freends wil bee deed!

Joders:  How do you figure that?

Dingo:   Becoz mye freends are rowbotts.  Missinge Linke mayde them.

Joders:  Robots?  Shit, I didn’t know that.  Missing Link?  Jaded’s evil twin sister?

Joders starts to feel nervous.  If the dingo friends are robots, maybe they have killed everyone.  Joders shakes her head to clear it of these thoughts.  She knows she can’t afford to let the dingo see her fear.

Joders:  You know, it’d be much easier if you just step aside and let me take Whorely.  You don’t need him anymore.  He can’t make you famous.  Hell, he’s hardly famous himself anymore.  You need to find someone far more successful than Whorely.  What about Justin Timberlake?  It can’t be too hard to get rid of Jessica Biel surely?

Dingo:  Eye kant jusst lett u tayk himm.  Thee onlee waye out of thiss is four mee tu releese himm when hiz kontrakt expyres.  Mayk it looke like I broek upp with himm.  Theers no waye that aisle let himm go otherwize.

Joders:  You already put the hard word on Justin didn’t you?  And he said no!

The dingo blushes and flashes an angry look at Joders.

Dingo:  Give itt ur beste shott bytch.  And reememba, I’m the larst thing ur gunnr see befor u dye!

Joders:  In your dreams you insane, cabbage breathed, dingo whore!

Joders raises her right hand.

Joders:  Sword!

A sword appears in Joders’ hand and she swings it at the dingo.  It makes a satisfying whooshing sound as it flies through the air, but it fails to hit it’s target.  The dingo is surprisingly light on her feet and manages to dodge all of the swings and thrusts that Joders can manage.

Joders:  Staff!

A wooden staff materialises in Joders’ hand and she begins twirling it like a giant sized baton.  But this is no cheerleading meet.  This is life and death.

Suddenly the staff makes contact with the dingo’s left hand.

Dingo:  (holding her left hand in her right hand and examining the damage) That hurte u hore!

Joders:  I think that’s the pot calling the kettle black, don’t you?

Dingo:  Whu ar u calleng a kettel?

Joders laughs.

Joders:  My God.  You’re dumber than I thought!

Dingo:  Hoew dair u calle mee dum!  Nowe Ihm reelly angrie!

Without warning the dingo leaps across the coffee table straight towards Joders and knocks Joders off of her feet.

Joders:  Get your sharp, pointy elbow out of my stomach, you abnormally skinny praying mantis!

Dingo:  Onlee wen u lett goh of mye hare!

For a minute Joders and the dingo fight on the floor, kicking, hitting, scratching and pulling hair.  Joders manages to poke a finger into the dingo’s eye.  As the dingo holds her eye and howls in pain, Joders is able to get away and she runs to the french doors, throwing them open.

Joders stands in the open doorway and watches as the dingo rises to her feet.

Joders:  Knife!

As the knife appears in Joders’ hand, the dingo makes another move towards her.  Joders flings the knife at the dingo and the knife lodges in her upper arm.

The dingo looks at the knife detachedly and pulls it from her arm.  She is bleeding.  She tosses the knife to the floor and launches herself at Joders with bullet like speed.  She hits Joders with such force that the 2 of them fly out the door and land on the balcony.  Joders gets up but the dingo is just as quick.  They fight on the balcony, Joders trying desperately to keep herself away from the railings.

Joders see her chance to wrap her hands around the dingo’s scrawny neck and leaps up onto a sun lounge which gives her a slight height advantage.  Just when she thinks she is getting the upper hand and enjoying watching the dingo’s eyes bulge desperately out of her head, the sun lounge topples over with Joders still on it.

The dingo hoists Joders to her feet and pushes her to the railing.

Dingo:  Thiss is itt Jodahs, howe doz itt feele tu noe ur goeng tu dye?  And thatt uve loste Whorelandoh fureva?

The dingo pushes Joders over the railing so that her back is arched dangerously over the edge.  All it will take is one push from the dingo and Joders will fall 3 storeys to her death.  As Joders contemplates this scenario, the dingo wraps her icy finger around Joders’ throat and starts to squeeze.

Dingo:  Sew?  Hoew doz itt feele?

Joders:  (in a strangled voice)  A bit surreal.

Dingo:  Wot?  Eye carnt undastande ewe.

Joders:  Then stop choking me!

The dingo slightly relaxes her grip on Joders.

Dingo:  U fayled Johdas!  Ur a falyur!  All ur freends ar dedd, ur gunnr dye and Ihm gunnr keepe Whorelando.

Joders:  My friends aren’t dead.  They can’t be?

Dingo:  Butt thay r!  Jaynas, thatt sweete littl blohnd?  Ded!  Alyrs?  Ded.  And her dawta lefte muthaless!  Caytas?  Ded?  Wanda?  Ded!  Afhers and Jenifa?  Ded!  Jayded?  Ded!  And shee thawt she was a supaheero!  Daynas?  She’s ded tuu!  And Annahs?  The won persun whu wantes Whorelando moor than u doo.  The won persun whu woz comeng to Gran Canarie withe u, come helle or hi warter.  Ded!  And wateing in the mohrgue four u tu identifie her bodie!

Joders felt the icy fingers of fear grip her heart.  She didn’t want to believe the dingo.  She didn’t want to think that her friends were all dead.  Because of her.  That she had led them on this fateful trip and was now responsible for their deaths.  Tears pricked in her eyes.  If they were dead, she might as well be dead too.

Joders:  Get it over with.  Don’t torture me any longer.  Just do it.  Kill me.

The dingo laughed.  Joders could see her bared dingo teeth.  This was the last sight and sound that Joders would experience.

Daners:  Don’t listen to her Joders.  I’m not dead!

Joders:  (hanging upside down)  Daners?

Daners:  Yes.  I’m not dead.  She’s lying to you.  To make you give up.  Don’t give up.  Do what you came here to do!

Dingo:  (letting go of Joders’ throat and yelling at Daners)  Y don’t u phuk offe?

Daners:  Why don’t you just crawl away and die?

Joders:  (to herself)  I don’t want to die.  Daners doesn’t want me to die.  The others wouldn’t want me to die.  Even if she’s dead, Anners will be pissed off if I get Whorely.  But ya get that.  Besides, I’m a phucking superhero!  I’ve got the suit to prove it.

In a feat of superhuman strength Joders curls up her legs and plants her feet firmly on the dingo’s stomach.

Dingo:  (with an expression of bewilderment on her face) Wot r u dooing?

Joders:  A dingo won’t get my baby.  Die you bytch!!

Joders kicks out and sends the dingo flying to the other side of the balcony, her arms and legs flailing helplessly.  There is a sickening crack of skull against concrete.

Joders carefully approaches the dingo and looks down at her.  The dingo’s eyes are glazed and there is a trickle of blood from her nose.

Joders:  (to the dingo)  And that my dear is why you don’t ever mess with a Gemini!

Daners:  Joders, are you okay?

Joders walks to the railing and leans over to speak with Daners.

Joders:  Yeah.  I feel a bit sick looking at her though.

Daners:  Is she dead?

Joders:  I don’t know.  I don’t want to get close enough to check.

Daners opens her mouth to speak but goes wide eyed with shock instead.

Daners:  Joders, look out!

Joders turns slightly to see the dingo, bedraggeld and broken, coming up behind her for one last shot at killing her.

Daners:  Joders, duck!

Not caring why Daners has instructed her to duck, Joders obeys the order.

Daners pulls a boomerang from her knapsack and throws it with all the strength she can muster.  It swirls through the air straight towards it’s intended target.  It loops behind the dingo and as it changes direction, it catches the dingo around the neck and knocks her towards the railing.

The dingo can’t stop the law of physics and realises too late what is happening.  The force of the flight of the boomerang pushes her over the railing and she falls, howling horribly, to the ground 3 floors below where she lands with a thud.

Daners slowly approaches the body and nudges it with the toe of her boot.  She is also brave enough to feel for a pulse.

Daners:  And that is why you never mess with a Gemini.

Joders peers over the edge of the balcony.

Joders:  Is she dead?

Daners:  (looking up at Joders)  Yes.

Joders:  Ohhh, I’m gonna be sick!

Joders rushes back into the suite and straight to the bathroom where she promptly loses her breakfast.

Daners finds Joders sitting on the leather couch in the lounge area, holding a damp flannel to her face.

Daners:  You feel any better?

Joders:  Marginally.  I don’t know how you do it Daners.  How you work with dead people.

Daners:  I dunno.  I just do.

Joders:  Daners?

Daners:  Yeah?

Joders:  Thank you.   If you hadn’t have arrived when you did, I’d be dead.  She played on my worst fears.  That I’d led you all to your death.  I believed her when she said you were all dead.  So I wanted to be dead to.

Daners:  Are the others….?

Joders:  I don’t know.  I don’t know what happened to them.  I guess I should go and see.

It is then that the door of the suite opens and Anners and Wanda walk into the room.

Anners:  (relief clearly marked on her face)  Joders!  Thank God!

Joders:  Anners, you’re not dead!  Wanda, you either!  What about…?

Wanda:  Everyone is fine.  No fatalities.  Unless you count the robots.  All three are dead.

Anners:  What about the dingo?

Joders:  (pointing out the french doors)  Out there.

Anners and Wanda walk out onto the balcony.

Wanda:  Where?

Daners:  Over the edge.

Anners and Wanda take a look over the railing and see the broken and dead body of the dingo laying on the ground below.

Anners runs back inside and throws her arms around Joders.

Anners:  She’s really dead, isn’t she?

Joders:  Yes.

Anners:  So you saved Whorely?

Joders:  We saved Whorely.

Anners:  It was your idea Joders.

Joders:  You’re forgetting the fact that we all could have been killed because of my stupid idea.

Anners:  Doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that the dingo is dead, we’ve saved Whorely and you’re okay.  You are okay aren’t you?

Joders:  Just a scratch on my face.  I’ll probably get rabies from it, but other than that, I’m all good.  But Anners?

Anners:  Yes?

Joders:  Could you stop hugging me please?  I can’t breathe because you’re hugging me that tight!

Anners:  Sorry Joders, I’m just happy!

The group is disturbed by a voice from the depths of the bedroom.

Orly:  Do you think someone could come and untie me now please?

So what will happen now?  Why the hell isn’t this story over already?  Can the author really drag it out for another few chapters and an epilogue?  Bloody oath she can!  Stay tuned for the next exciting episode which shouldn’t be too far away because the author is on a roll and the weekend is rapidly approaching!